Stories

This portion of the Derpsite! is not currently updated.
There have been no changes to it since 2002–2007.
It is being kept for archival purposes, and probably will not be updated again in the future.
The information herein is not current.
Diplomat
Dodge Diplomat
Remember the 80s?

Below are a few things that I've written. This page is a cross between the blog you wish you had in college, and a science experiment for determining if I could stand developing Web sites for more than a few minutes at a time (answer: I can't).

Happenings
24 April 2007—Guiding Star
24 February 2007—Fancypants
11 September 2006—Over and Over
2 April 2006—Dreamt About
27 February 2006—Deep Blue Sky
30 December 2005—Mean Bone
24 December 2005—Polaroid Person
16 December 2005—Cold
27 November 2005—Never Before
4 October 2005—Find me
31 August 2005—Shine
15 June 2005—On Fire
21 April 2005—Shake It
26 March 2005—Everybody Wants One
16 February 2005—She Bangs the Drums
28 December 2004—We Don't Serve Robots
7 December 2004—him name is hopkin green frog
16 October 2004—Ready to Go
13 September 2004—Thrush
31 July 2004—Flying
25 July 2004—Take Me Out
18 April 2004—I Can Hardly Wait
22 March 2004—Simeon Seinen
17 February 2004—Loses Control
30 January 2004—Eyelids
14 January 2004—Do What They Told Ya
5 January 2004—Stitch
11 December 2003—Dumb
10 December 2003—Sunshine of Your Love
6 November 2003—It's What You're Buying
4 November 2003—Conversations Kill
31 October 2003—Rusty Petal
30 October 2003—Screaming at a Wall
26 September 2003—Cut Me Up
23 August 2003—Cheekbones
10 August 2003—Place Where You Go
6 July 2003—Crazy, Maybe
23 June 2003—Rip 'Em Apart
19 June 2003—Dye Your Hair
7 June 2003—On Your Mind
13 May 2003—Sunshine
5 May 2003—Wanted
27 April 2003—Distract Me
21 April 2003—Riches
20 April 2003—I Choose
2 April 2003—2+2=5
25 March 2003—Set Out to Do
23 March 2003—Teenage Computer
9 March 2003—Holy Cow
18 February 2003—I Hate Myself
8 February 2003—Clocks
10 December 2002—I Am the Resurrection
5 December 2002—Autumn Shade
28 November 2002—Losing It
5 October 2002—What to Choose
1 October 2002—Wait
9 August 2002—Don't Mean a Thing
5 August 2002—Glorious and Free
28 July 2002—Impression
15 July 2002—Nothing Has Changed
27 May 2002—Take Me Down
2 May 2002—Arrows of Desire
18 April 2002—Lost Control
11 April 2002—What I Needed
9 April 2002—Intentions
2 April 2002—I'm a Loser
12 March 2002—Privilege
1 March 2002—More Than Human
28 February 2002—Smoked to the End
20 February 2002—Herds
15 February 2002—Shrug
9 February 2002—What the Hell?
8 February 2002—Lucky and Unhappy
4 February 2002—Dead of Night
1 February 2002—Important Differences
31 January 2002—I Want to Be in a Band
30 January 2002—Let My Crying Come Unto Thee
Stories
The Hill Tamed Me—Upsetting things to do at WMU's campus.
Kiwi Tobacco—Are tobacco companies the slime of the earth?
Health Charles—Tobacco companies are the slime of the earth.
Ramen Charles—Take a bite...out of me!
Discount Porn—People are trying to sell everything now-a-days.
Things Which Really Miff Me Off—A short educational essay.
Flo Zone Police Story—Did I ever tell you about the time I was almost arrested?
Party Hard—This seemed interesting when I wrote it. I am a narcisist.
O, Canada—I'll never write this story, so you better ask me about it.